There aren’t too many people I know who like a monotonous relationship. It gets boring and routine and the sparks are rare. You can generate sparks by infusing a little gratitude.
I believe it’s all based on your perspective. You can view your relationship through a lens of ‘whatever’ and go through the motions of life together. Or, you can look at it with a positive lens that focuses on what is good between you.
My Partner Hub and I are spending a week in Newfoundland, the most Eastern province in Canada. We both love the adventure of exploring new destinations. I am grateful that I found someone who loves to travel as much as I do.
I love how we both enjoy a romantic rendezvous – we seem to have them 3-4 times a year where one of us is flying in to another city to meet the other. I choose not to get upset because my flight is delayed and be grumpy when I arrive. Instead, I close my eyes and think of how nice it is to have that handsome face waiting for me at the airport.
Gratitude starts with a positive perspective – identifying what is good about your relationship.
The next part is looking at your partner and thinking about what you appreciate most about him or her. I like that my beloved is an amazing cook, he and I have intellectually stimulating conversations, he is funny and pretty much positive all the time. There are many more attributes that I love about him, however, a woman has got to have a little mystery, so I’ll stop there!
Gratitude can become a point of focus when you stop complaining about your partner and look at what you enjoy.
Lastly, you can inject gratitude in to your relationship by acknowledging the first two steps.
I often hear couples tell me – that’s my job to cut the grass and it’s her job to cook dinner. Why should I thank her – we have divided up the chores evenly.
In my relationship with Hub, even though he takes care of most of the meals at home, I always thank him for it and let him know that I enjoyed it. I let him know what I love about our relationship and what I enjoy most about him.
I want him to know that I do pay attention to his contributions to our home or things he does for me personally. I do my best to recognize effort, let him know the impact it has on me and of course I say thank you. He often does the same.
When you love someone, you want to do things for them or find ways to make life that much easier. It is very rewarding to know that it has been noticed and appreciated – it makes you want to do more.
Why not try to infuse a little gratitude into your relationship with these 3 simple steps –
A positive perspective on what is good in your relationship and what you appreciate in your partner – then to communicate. I guarantee yours ‘spark meter’ will start to increase!