I believe there are both practical and passionate aspects of our romantic relationships. One may show up more than the other, depending on your personalities, however, both are important.
I think of my relationship and what we consider to be the practical benefits:
- Sharing of household responsibilities – cleaning, cooking, shopping, banking, house maintenance and repairs inside and out, laundry, etc. – supports equality of roles and individual workload
- Sharing of expenses – takes the pressure off
- Companionship – we are not alone
- Access to new knowledge – for intellectual stimulation and broaden our perspectives
- Exposure to new interests – to add variety and change in our lives
The part that feeds our passion is anything that provides an emotional connection:
- We are both family-oriented so this is meaningful. Both of our families have long-standing histories and dynamics of their own. We learn from each other’s family and we learn to create our own. The best part is that there are more people to love – so the strands of connection go a little deeper and a little further with every family member.
Supporting each other
- This is so valuable to me. Knowing that we are there for each other is such a comforting feeling. To share highs and lows, disappointments, fears, hopes, and dreams and have someone just listen and give non-judgemental feedback brings us closer together. Also, when we make mistakes or have failures – there is someone beside you as you pick up the pieces and move on.
- Talking about our day, our families, current events – it doesn’t matter – just engaging each other in conversation increases our connection. Hearing each other’s perspectives and asking questions deepens our connection.
- This also includes resolving conflict together which isn’t always easy to do. The ability to say when you are upset and why and have it listened to and responded to in a way that says I care and I want this resolved too is really, really important to us.
- For us, it’s travel – joining each other on our individual business trips, taking mini vacations several times a year, a tropical holiday or an adventure holiday – we both contribute ideas and we explore new locations together.
- Any other hobbies we enjoy – going to musicals, sports events, restaurants, shopping, visiting or just watching TV – as long as we are together – we truly do enjoy each other’s company.
Making It Special
- We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, special memories or acknowledge great moments in our relationship. They are not treated as everyday occurrences. We create opportunities to show each we are valued. We like to surprise each other from time to time by doing something we know we would love.
Keeping Romance Alive
- It doesn’t matter how busy life gets – our intimacy is a very personal form of connection and one that we make a priority. We both make the effort to show our gratitude and love for each other in ways that are unique just to us. That is our personal heaven.
It’s interesting – some couples have lost the passion in their relationship. They have what they call ‘a partnership’ which is built on the practical elements. They go through the motions of living every day, having conversations, visiting family or taking vacations. What’s missing is the passion. What is strong is the comfort of their routine and familiarity with that routine.
What works for you? Do you need more practical sharing or more passion? It’s a personal choice for every couple.
February is my favorite month – it’s about connection and romance.
I can’t think of a better way to celebrate this special time of the year than with the man I love!