There are so many ways to create sparks in our romantic relationships and one of my favourites is to pay attention to the details. It’s making a conscious effort to make your partner feel special and loved. To do this well, you really want to know who they are, what’s important to them and what their likes and dislikes are.
In our house, we have a natural division of responsibilities – based on our interests and comfort zone. Hub is passionate about food and cooking and he is amazing at it. He cooks 90% of the meals in our home. How lucky am I? He also loves shopping – for food, for clothes – for the family, for himself or for me. I love gardening, cutting the grass, shoveling the snow and call me crazy – I love cleaning and laundry!
We both can do each other’s responsibilities, however – we recognize how we each like to contribute to our home and we never take it for granted. I make sure I always say thank you for dinner or acknowledging the effort and care Hub has put in. He will comment on the ambiance I created in the house with candles, soft lighting and music – to make it feel cozy and welcoming. He calls it ‘my touch.’
Although that division is there, there may be times when we aren’t able to do it. So we step up and help. When one of us is not well, we will look after each other. It comes down to taking the time to really get to know your partner and allowing them the space to be themselves.
Hub loves his sports, especially at playoff time. I too have my favourite shows that I don’t want to miss. We don’t complain. We may sit together to watch with each other or we may not. – It’s about supporting each other.
I have mentioned this many times before – I am a strong believer in that one of the greatest compliments or acknowledgements you can give your partner is to accept them for who they are – with all of their preferences and interests and of course the few things they do that you are not crazy about.
I’ve learned not to judge, not to tolerate – simply to accept and love. In doing so, I find great joy in paying attention to the little things that make my partner happy.
There are lots of ways you can respond to the “details” in your relationship here are a few ideas:
- Fill up their car with gas or get it washed
- Buy tickets to their favourite _________ (fill in the blank).
- When they are super busy or not feeling well – anticipate their needs and help out without being asked
- Help them look for lost items
- Check in during the day and ask about the progress of something that’s important to them
- Acknowledge effort on their part
- How about a smile, a hug and a kiss everyday when you both leave to go about your day and when you both get back together
I am always looking for new ways to show Hub my love – he is one of the greatest gifts in my life and I want him to know that!