Oh, how we want the other person to like us when they first meet us. We wonder if this new relationship has the potential of being ‘the one’. So we put on our very best image – how we look, how we dress, what we decide to talk about and whatever else we can do to get this new potential partner to like us.
I hear of situations where people magnify who they are or what their jobs are. They dominate conversations with examples of their accomplishments and no one else can participate in the conversation. It’s a little nauseating to me and time to move on. Why ‘try’ to sell yourself – why not just ‘be’ yourself?
I remember getting ready for my first date with Hub! I was super excited to meet him – it took us 30 days before we could actually go out on a date together because we both had busy schedules.
We emailed and texted each other for the first two weeks. Then we spoke on the phone every night for hours for the next two weeks. What the heck did we talk about every day for so long?!
It’s a dance – getting to know each other and slowly starting to share who we are, what we like or dislike and what’s really important to us. By the time we actually went out on our date, I felt like I was having dinner with a good friend. I knew so much about him and what made him laugh and what he values.
I appreciated that he wore a nice suit, drove a clean car and opened doors for me. That showed me, the value he put on our first date. If he showed up in a rumpled tracksuit and dirty running shoes, that would tell me his personal style and then it is up to me to determine if that works for me or not.
The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to be authentic and the greatest gift we can give our partner is to accept them and value them for who they are. I must say, I have never met anyone who is as comfortable in their own skin, as Hub is. He is genuine and real and I find that refreshing and appealing.
I shared everything about myself – my high points and low points, my fears, my accomplishments, and my passions. I never had to worry about maintaining the image I presented to him because I was me.
Because we were ourselves and continued to be that way, we were both in a better position to decide if we were right for each other. I’d say it worked because we are now engaged and have great chemistry together!