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It’s all about intention!

Special occasions can be holidays, vacations, events or social gatherings. Some people are completely content being single while others feel out of place and wish they had someone special with which to share the occasion.

I know the feeling. I spent quite a bit of time alone, without a partner. In the beginning, I was hesitant to go out. I felt all eyes were on me being a-l-o-n-e! I often turned down invitations to avoid the embarrassment of being single.

Then as time went on, something significant happened.  I started to get to know myself. I began to feel comfortable with just being by myself. Then I started to like not having to explain my actions, or compromise, or share, or have to clean up after myself. I could watch TV for hours; I could eat my favourite foods as often as I wanted.  I just lived doing what felt comfortable. Yes, there were times when I was incredibly lonely and wanted to be with other people.  Long weekends were the hardest. It was a curious time and a necessary one.

Then it hit me; I can design my life any way I want.  I needed to be able to go out alone – to a movie, to a restaurant or other public places where I felt uncomfortable to be alone. I forced myself to get out there.

I created intentions for myself – what am I trying to accomplish or overcome or achieve with each activity.

I found helping someone in need was rewarding and took the focus off of feeling alone. During the holidays, we can explore the numerous volunteer opportunities that exist and instead of feeling sorry for ourselves we can do something meaningful.

I reflected on my life and set out to change those behaviours or attributes I didn’t like about myself.

I created projects I could complete around my house.

I decorated my house at Christmas time and listened to music and watched all my fav movies and cried and laughed.

Some social events I attended, I would decide what I wanted to do. For example, I chose a few people I wanted to connect with and created a set of questions to initiate conversation with them. The intent was to reconnect and get to know them better.

I set personal goals for my growth and started to create a plan to take myself to the next level.

I phoned people I hadn’t spoken to in a long time.

I stopped feeling awkward about being single. It then became a choice, so much so, that I was genuinely concerned if I could ever enter back into a relationship. I enjoyed my new-found space and comfort with myself. I truly loved the independence.

I learned to stop feeling sorry for myself and focused my attention on making a difference for others. It was gratifying and had become a significant driver in my life.

My alone time gave me a sense of purpose and gratitude for who I am and appreciation for the beauty of a relationship with someone special. I emerged as a more confident and giving version of my earlier self.