I often hear people tell me that they can’t find a partner and in most of the situations, they don’t have a strategy.
When I was looking for love, I created my own strategy. This included confirming/redefining who I am, determining the type of man I would be attracted to , and creating a plan to find him.
Start with Me
I started by looking in the mirror and assessing myself. I thought of and documented:
- What I believe in – what’s important to me
- My personal values – what I stand for
- My non negotiable boundaries – what I will/will not accept in a relationship
- My own habits or attributes that I wanted to improve on.
- How I present myself to others – looks, personality, energy
- How I wanted to be perceived by a potential partner
I then set out to make any needed changes so that I could become an attractive partner – inside and outside.
I have spoken to people who have no sense of purpose or motivation in their life, they don’t like their overall image and are consequently unhappy with themselves. It’s difficult to attract someone when you are giving off negative energy. If you don’t like yourself or aspects of yourself, how can you expect others to like you?
Identify Who I’m Looking For
I made a list of the attributes I wanted in a partner. I knew that at this stage of my life, nothing less than this would do.
These were the attributes I looked for (in no particular order):
- Great sense of humor
- Family oriented with adult children
- In good physical shape
- Financially stable
- Strong people skills
Looking for love can be an easier process by knowing the type of person who would complement you.
Finding the One
I have never believed that ‘he’ would land in my lap – it was up to me to find him. Below is a list of activities you can undertake to help introduce you to people who could potentially be a future partner.
- Tell a select group of friends/relatives who you are looking for so they can suggest some of their friends who may be looking as well
- Join a club or a group that reflects your interests – you might meet someone who loves the same activities you do
- Use a higher caliber dating service – they are more targeted to who you are and who you are looking for as well as safer and more professional
- Try on-line dating – on the right site for you and do your homework
- Singles events
- Attend parties, events, dinners with your friends
- Participate in a travel group
Know that if you are confident in yourself, it is easier to put yourself out there and for your friends to try to connect you to someone they may know. You will also give off a positive vibe.
Sometimes it means getting out of your comfort zone or learning how to initiate conversations.
The right person is out there. Make sure you are the best you can be and open to finding love.
Create a plan and make it happen.