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Romantic relationships require a solid foundation to be sustainable.

The four walls of my foundation are made up of respect, trust, communication and integrity. I personally need to have those four attributes firmly in place, to have a healthy relationship. I will not and cannot, be in a relationship without them.  When the foundation is solid, I feel safe and secure and can then move to the next level of my relationship which is intimacy.

Some words/phrases I found to describe intimacy are: a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place or a person, an interpersonal relationship that involves physical and/or emotional closeness, a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

Intimacy is more than physical – it is a deep connection between two people on many levels.  It is the ability to be completely honest and vulnerable with another person and know that it is 100% safe.  It is mutual respect. It is knowing you can trust and rely on your partner. It is knowing that they are true to their word – that they will never let you down.

This type of intimacy that is shared between two people in a romantic relationship is sacred. It is confidential. It is private. It is its own world – that no one can penetrate. It is made up of the mutual thoughts, wants and desires of a couple and cannot be replicated.

This depth of connection creates a bond that when tested – is unbreakable. It is knowing that you have each other’s back without question.

Not everyone wants intimacy in their relationship.  Some like to keep a safe distance – emotionally and physically. They want to know their partner is there for them, but they don’t hold they relationship in a high regard. They may be inattentive, operate according to their own agenda and together they have no common purpose and just exist as two people.

That is not my standard.  I’m pro-intimacy. Especially in today’s society – it’s so nice to know that you have a special person with whom you can share your fears, successes, disappointments, hopes and dreams.

The same goes for physical intimacy – to be able to share a very private expression of love – that is created by only you and your partner.  You can look in to each other’s eyes and just know how good it feels to physically connect.  It doesn’t have to be just sexually – it can be touching your partner is a way that you know they love.

The point is this: sharing and building a connection physically and emotionally, making and upholding commitments, honoring each other’s preferences and keeping it all between the two of you creates intimacy.  It’s a beautiful experience and it becomes even stronger knowing it will continue to be there day after day.