We all have our favorite hobbies, and we have our habits. They may or may not be liked or appreciated by our partner. That’s ok – unless of course, they have a negative impact.
Habits are hard to break. We need a valid reason to change familiar patterns and practices. I suggest that being considerate to your partner is a valid reason.
10 Annoying Habits to Avoid in a Relationship
Let’s start with a list of annoying behaviours or habits that, when we are single, don’t matter as much because they likely don’t impact anyone:
- Leaving clothes on the floor
- Making a lot of noise, turning on the lights, banging doors or drawers loudly while your partner is sleeping
- Watching TV in sweatpants for hours at a time
- Letting dirty dishes pile up in the sink
- Not replenishing when something is used up like paper towels or toilet paper
- Not cleaning up
- How you manage money
- Not paying attention, such as always being on your phone checking messages or emails
- Spending time with friends most days/nights of the week
- Following your agenda or making plans without asking if your partner would like to participate
- Engaging in only your preferences and rarely your partner’s when it comes to movies, restaurant, meals, vacations, friends or family to socialize with
When you have been single for a while, you get into a comfortable routine. You want to be with someone, to share your lives with them, but you aren’t always aware of or willing to modify, some of your behaviour. That’s a problem.
5 Steps that Make You A More Considerate Partner
So how do you do it? There are a few options that I have seen work well for others:
- Identify your non-negotiables
- Share those with your partner and learn what theirs are
- Take turns (without complaining) – see your preferred movie one week and then next time your partner’s, and alternate
- Take time to reflect. Do you have habits that are not considerate of others? If so, change them for the sake of your partner.
- Ask your partner what they consider to be important when you are together and what would they like to see changed and you share the same
Ideally, you find someone who shares the same values as you, and there’s chemistry. Even when that is the case, there are still situations that will be annoying.
Our partners help us to grow and expand our thinking. Every time there is a difference in perspective, I encourage you to explore it. What’s your partner’s perspective? Why do they feel that way? Why is that important to them?
I have had some habits that annoy my partner. It is not my intention to do that. However, if it is having a negative impact, I have a choice. I can say too bad, that’s the way I am, or I can acknowledge how it impacts him and take steps to change the behaviour.
Through my own experience and that of my clients, I have found that when you are truly in love and want a meaningful, long-term relationship, then you are willing to modify for the sake of your relationship. I’m not talking about changing your identity or giving up what you stand for or your core values. I am referring to those habits we have developed that may not be conducive to a happy relationship. The choice is yours.