Do you trust yourself to do the right thing?
It’s not uncommon to doubt ourselves. Almost every one of my clients has questioned themselves at some point or another. I often see people not move toward a goal or activity because they don’t trust themselves to either behave appropriately or to be able to do what it is they set out to.
I have certainly had my share of those moments. I’ve experienced it speaking to an audience and wondering if I could get up there on a stage. It’s happened when I was facilitating a difficult meeting, knowing that some of the participants are very challenging.
When both of those scenarios occurred for me, I felt anxious before the events. Can I do this? What if they are too difficult or too challenging or unresponsive?
Then, I took a step back.
What I did worked for me, and I have used it over and over, as well as with my clients – and the results are there.
Believe in Yourself
Instead of saying, “There is no way I can do this,” try putting belief ahead of fear.
“I may be frightened; however, I also believe that I can figure this out.”
I started by asking myself some questions:
- Do I really want to do this? – Yes
- Do I believe I have what it takes? – Yes
- Do I know how? – Not completely
- How will I learn? – I will research other sources and people in similar circumstances to see how they did it and then apply what makes sense for me.
Is what I am doing in alignment with who I am and the vison I have for my life or my career? I can easily build the drive and find the energy needed when I am true to who I am.
Do I believe in my message so strongly, that I can maintain my confidence in the face of opposing views? Absolutely.
Who are you? Do you a inner compass to help you find the right path for you?
Are your activities in alignment with your vision for your life and your personal values? If you haven’t determined your values – you can do that here.
You can never go wrong by being yourself.
If you are uncomfortable in social settings, start talking with good friends and family where you feel safe, and they are familiar to you. If you want to run a marathon, learn how to train and start to run, slowly building up your distance.
Start where you feel good, then build up from there.
My very first public speaking moment was scary and exciting at the same time. This was more than 30 years ago, and I was just learning to gather my thoughts and find the courage to speak in front of small groups of people.
I worked in the hotel industry in sales and we were hosting a guest fashion show. Two days before the event, the commentator took ill, and I was asked to step in. I had been to enough fashion shows that I understood what to expect. Although I was nervous, I couldn’t resist the challenge.
I was able to obtain the list of models and the outfits they were to wear. I prepared an outline of what I was to say and when. I read through it several times, got familiar with the room and the set-up, the location on the stage where I would be standing and then I practiced the wording and the timing. We were also able to do a dress rehearsal which helped.
My German Shepherd, Hunter, is my sounding board when I prepare for a presentation. I take him for a walk and practice over and over out loud to him. He knows them all!
Familiarization and practice give me a degree of confidence.
Connect to Your Intuition
I believe wholeheartedly, that there is nothing more powerful than intuition.
We all have it; we know what is right or wrong. We are governed by our values.
In my case, my body sends me signals. If what I am doing is not the right approach for me – I will feel it as a form of tension or anxiety in my body. If it’s in alignment with what I stand for and believe in, then I am happy and have the energy to do what is needed.
It is less stressful and much easier to do something you feel strongly about.
Ask for help from someone you trust. They can serve as a mentor, or a coach, or a sounding board or an accountability partner.
Give it a try. Choose one activity that you are interested in. Gather data to have a better understanding of what you are trying to do. Create a plan for yourself. Share it with someone you trust. Start small. Build yourself up at a pace that works for you. Acknowledge your progress. Most importantly, before you start, don’t forget to say, “I can do this!”