Do you have any idea how many people are unhappy? They don’t feel fulfilled in their life, they have a lousy job, their relationship is not at its best, they don’t feel motivated, they have anxiety and they blame others for their circumstances. Does any of this sound like you?
You have the power to turn things around. You can make improvements. You can be happier.
You can do this if you are willing to take responsibility for your life.
Yes, things happen. Life happens. Bosses or co-workers upset us, family members upset us, and the list goes on and on. We can’t change them, but we can change ourselves.
My life changed completely, when I realized I had a choice. At the end of my first marriage, I was frustrated because nothing was improving despite numerous discussions. I was unhappy – no actually – I was miserable. I had two small babies and felt trapped in an unacceptable relationship – for me and for my children.
I had to endure a custody battle and after that was settled, I experienced years of frustration anger and tears. And then one day, I had enough. I could not continue to live my life being controlled by another person and living in fear that something bad was going to happen.
The reality was that I was allowing myself to be controlled by another person and the power was within me all along! If only I had known that simple fact years earlier, I would not have suffered so much.
The only way out was to figure out what I wanted. I was so busy surviving through every day, that I never focused on a future. Then I made a decision to have a better life, free from the stress and anxiety that had plagued me for years. I sought help from a counselor to discover why I was in that situation in the first place and what I needed to do to remove it from my life once and for all.
My first step was to set boundaries for what I was willing to accept and not accept. I used the symbol of a flotation ring I used as a child when I was swimming to set up a boundary that no one could come between that ring and me. I decided that anyone who showed any form of disrespect or abusive behaviour toward me would never get close enough.
I then removed myself from or simply didn’t participate in, any discussions or events where I would be exposed to abusive people. I no longer felt a need to justify my point of view to others or to make sure they were happy with the outcome of our discussion. If they became rude and disrespectful, I simply hung up the phone or walked away.
This story continues. I will never forget the feeling of freedom I had when I realized I could create the change I so desperately wanted. I stopped blaming others for my unhappiness and took personal responsibility for my life.