No relationship is perfect. You may be perfect for each other, however, there are situations that arise that cause friction. Each person has their own set of expectations and preferences.
So how do you get along with the one you love?
I believe it starts with self-awareness – looking in the mirror at how you show up in your relationship. What are you like to live with? What habits and beliefs do you bring into your relationship? Are they positive contributions or do they cause problems? What baggage and insecurities do you bring that impact how you relate?
Next is communication – to share your boundaries, your preferences, values and expectations with each other. And then there are our habits that show up on a regular basis. There will be differences. Do you tolerate those differences or do you accept them?
Understanding is critical. Couples are together for a reason. Most people become a couple as adults – after they have developed their preferred way of life. When we seek to understand what is important to our partner and why, it can help us to know them better and feel comfortable. If they bother you, you might want to ask yourself why they bother you? How are you interpreting them? Or look at your own habits, how do they impact your partner?
Compromise – is there room to make adjustments and honor both sets or preferences?
One partner may enjoy adventure type vacations while the other loves the tropical beach holiday. Can you alternate each time you go away? Can you modify your habits to accommodate each other without denying your true self?
Without authenticity, we slowly become subdued, withdrawn and dishonest with ourselves or our partner. We may be trying so hard to please the other person, that we lost a piece of our identity along the way. Bitterness starts to set in and the distance grows. Our true selves will eventually come back to the surface.
Love isn’t enough to make a relationship successful. It is a powerful motivator to want to make it work. I am responsible for my own happiness; however, I am at my happiest in my closest and most significant relationship – with my partner Hub. To love and be loved is an integral part of my personal foundation.
When we have self-awareness, communication, understanding, compromise, authenticity and love, we are in a healthy place to give our partner the best compliment we can give them – acceptance. There will always be requests for small changes in each other to accommodate ongoing needs, however to truly accept our partner for who they are, and love their uniqueness and their contribution helps our relationships to thrive.
Wishing you all a very Happy and Romantic Valentine’s Day!