A heart is a special place – it’s can be a tender, delicate spot for some or it can be brimming with expressions of love. Our capacity to love is great. Our hearts are our life line – physically and emotionally.
When people are feeling love for someone else, feeling loved themselves, or doing something meaningful, they may say ‘my heart is full.’ When they feel hurt, they may hold their hands to their heart.
So, what makes your partner’s heart tick? Being with my beloved, Hub, continues to be a fascinating journey. I am always curious to learn more about him and what fills his heart – what makes him happy.
I know that family is very important to him – his kids, his dad, his late mom, his siblings, nieces and nephews and their kids. He loves his sports. He loves exercising. He’s a great cook. He loves travel and new adventures. Music is important. He enjoys my kids and grand-kids. And he enjoys being with me.
There is so much more to Hub, however, those are some of the highlights of what fills his heart.
I have many of those same likes and it becomes obvious to me why we have such great chemistry.
Even if I didn’t have similar likes – I want to know his. I want to nurture and support what is important to him. I don’t usually watch hockey or baseball with him, however – we did take in a hockey game last week at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto. We had a lot of fun.
Rather than complaining of how we like to spend our time, we both support each other’s likes – participating in events or activities or discussions. It’s a combination of being attentive, being curious, maybe trying something new or just keeping each other company – the impact is significant.
In doing this, we feel loved, validated, happy and empowered to be authentic. It creates a powerful connection between us where we can share who we are, how we feel, what we want, our fears, our hopes and aspirations – in a safe and non-judgmental place.
There are no rules for what fills one’s heart. It just happens. What makes one person emotional may not apply to the other. We all have our own histories and life stories that shaped our hearts. They are central to our ability to connect with others.
An exercise I often use in coaching others is this:
- Each of you independently write down your responses
- What you love to do the most (if you had no restrictions such as time or money – how would you spend your time)?
- What is important to you?
- What makes you angry?
- What makes you cry?
- What are you worried about?
- What are your fears?
- What makes you the happiest?
- What are your hobbies, interests and passions?
- What are your aspirations for the future?
- What 3 activities would you like to do with your beloved?
- Share them with each other
- Find ways to actively participate with one another
Nurture your hearts and watch your connection get stronger.